My Life after CELTA

In every man's life - and I'm referring here to the male population - there comes a point where one must endure the discomfort of a medical examination. Yesterday, I let my valve, which usually lets matter only out, be exposed to an intruder in the form of the finger of a urologist. Apart from the embarrassment one feels while lying on the examination table half-naked like a sun-bathing frog on the pavement and being exposed to the look of a significantly younger female assistant, the whole procedure was only mildly unpleasant. Not to mention one's “precious part” that shrinks and gets as tiny as a poppyseed grain when diving into icy waters. This is the effect cold examination rooms can have on men's anatomy. There goes your manhood in a split second. Thankfully, the immediate result was reassuring, all clear, and it took the mortification away. Once the doctor finished his part, I hastily grabbed my jacket and scuttled down the stairs as an Olympic sprinter, wanting t...

Our neighbours made our day by getting back to normal. I was genuinely glad to see how they reduced the extent of their domain and left the required space between their plantation and our cars. It is comforting to know they are still open to dialogue and don’t want to wage war on their neighbours. Although it took us a couple of restless nights and some brain work to ask and convince them to do so. However, despite this good news-induced elation, I still was anxious. I wanted to look into the current situation and clarify some issues that required the involvement of the water supply company and a lawyer. Little did I know how smoothly will things turn for the better. After calling at the water supply company, I learned a few pieces of information, which was reassured by the lawyer, so, in the end, it all panned out. When I hung up the phone with the lawyer, my mind came to a standstill. The weight disappeared, and my eyelids started to slide down. The hand of the gauge of my anxiety sh...

As the first rays of morning scratched my eyelids and I tried to goad myself out of bed, I immediately knew today would be a terribly inactive day. Another heat wave was in the air with all its side effects. I really am stumped as to how weird the end of February is. While I was pondering this phenomenon, the birds were singing their early morning songs with a pinch of confusion in their melody, which was palpable. It seemed to me that they didn't get why the weather was so mild at 6:00 a.m., either. Despite having brilliant plans and world-changing thoughts yesterday, my pre-breakfast pathetic mental state was mind-crushing. After several unsuccessful attempts to untangle the mental knots and restore clarity in my grey matter, I gave up the effort and focused on my breakfast. So many things are on my plate that it is difficult to concentrate on anything but these pesky tasks. I'm a little miffed if I'm being honest. Anyway, I browsed the web with little success, looking fo...

Were there ancient civilisations whose scientists foresaw the portents of today by any chance? After checking the calendar this morning, it dawned on me that 02.24.2024 might be translated by the standards of numerology as judgement day. Suppose we apply the rules of theoretical mathematics, where solving an intricate equation requires the use of an unknown factor, or we twist something that, in fact, wouldn't need to be twisted; we might agree that by switching the numbers of February, we might find ourselves in some long predicted ordeal that occurs only on this date. Just like the Mayan calendar envisioned doomsday. However, if this is the end of the world, why worry? And why have these thoughts emerged unexpectedly from the darkest nooks and cronies of my mind? This remains a mystery to me. However, reality struck me hard after waking up from another short and not-so-memorable sleep. The repercussions of the previous days have left their mark on today. Waking up with gold-fish ...

Little did I know how much the events of two days ago, when the so-called garden issues arose, would affect my subsequent days. But they did. I spent my nights turning and tossing because my thoughts revolved around finding a peaceful solution that every party concerned would find beneficial. My brain was working like a steam machine, and my ears were oozing thick fumes like two enormous industrial chimneys. I was bashing my head against the wall until Ági came up with a brilliant idea, which completely changed the course of the events. What seemed impossible to solve became evident. Once the fog cleared up from my frothing mind, I buckled down to craft a letter. I did some research in the hope of finding clues and evidence as to how the land was divided, used, and maintained and how we’ve shaped customary law for almost a quarter of a century. Audentes Fortuna Iuvat. Boy, was I elated when I crafted the first draft? Still, despite the first success, last night wasn’t free of awakening...

Everything changes. Well, this isn’t entirely true, so let’s rephrase the sentence: apart from a couple of things, many things change. The variables of life ensure a diverse array of unexpected events. So, despite our mind endeavouring to create a pattern in which the items repeat themselves unaltered, we must confront various unanticipated predicaments. Take, for instance, the shared garden we maintain with our neighbour. Initially, our agreement to divide the plot into two seemed harmonious and efficient. It seemed to work quite well for years until our neighbour, fancying themselves a horticulturist, grabbed some herbs and planted them in the middle of the overgrown weeds on their plot hardly larger than a queen-sized bed sheet. Fast forward to the present; they tripled the size of this weed-rich piece of flowerbed, and the entire area resembles a cartographer’s rendition of a long-forgotten medieval county. Now, one of the sides of this agricultural spectacle extends as far as the ...

My day was about lesson planning for two of my beginner students. Crafting their lessons took unusually long because my night was not something a sane individual would want to cherish in their lingering thoughts. These early morning awakenings make me as mad as a sack of frogs. I wouldn't be surprised if I croaked - or spoke like Kermit the Frog - instead of uttering coherent sentences one morning. Anyway, back to lesson plan crafting: I enjoyed it despite my insomnia's inhibiting factor, hoping my students would find my classes helpful. When I completed the plans, I took Abby for her afternoon walk. Since the weather was unusually mild, I thought I could take a longer jovial jaunt with her. With this thought-to-be-perfect concept in my mind, I walked confidently until we reached the first crossing. I looked at Abby to check how she was and saw this fatigue oozing out of her eyes. She was begging me not to continue the "journey", so I had to call it quits and take her...

Commencing the eighth week of 2024 means there are only 44 weeks left of this year. Time flies like an arrow, and fruit flies like a banana. Never in a million years would I have suspected how much my perception of time would change over the years. But it did, and I still need to figure out how. When I was a teenager sitting on those uncomfortable wooden benches at grammar school, I always thought time stood still on several occasions during the day. Interestingly, I wasn't alone with this impression, as my peers had similar experiences, especially during those terrifyingly boring subjects whose teachers were so annoyed by teaching us that their disgust was written all over their faces. I remember looking at my watch, and the second hand wouldn't move. It quivered and shook as it tried to continue its dull routine. It stood over one of the notches and wouldn't go any further. I silently screamed at those occasions when an hour seemed like a whole year. Contrary to these ear...

Another week is almost over, with only a few hours left of it, which means we've passed the middle of February. Reflecting on the past six days, they revolved around a handful of topics: teaching, dogs, sleeping, and the exceptionally warm weather. What an exciting life we have, innit? Speaking of thrilling existence, I finished the CELTA course this time last year, one of the most memorable events in my life. In retrospect, it wasn't that difficult. However, when I was dealing with the lesson plans and considering all the details we learned while crafting and executing the lessons, I experienced another wave of angst. I was terrified. My anxiety level was so high that it almost reached astronomical levels. Still, it was a one-of-a-lifetime experience, and despite wanting to quit several times during the process, I'm glad I persevered. But enough of this malarkey, let's get back to this week. The unusually warm weather ensured the restless nights. Neither of us could sl...

When I woke up this morning, I knew the day wouldn't be an active one. Nothing sinister happened that would have suggested anything unexpected; it was rather one of those intuitions that depicted how the events of the day would unfold. This gut feeling strengthened when I grabbed Abby's leash and took her for her early morning walk. She was as inactive as I was, and the speed and length of our walk corroborated this theory. We ambled back to the house momentarily. After this painfully short-lived stroll with a surprisingly exhausted canine, I sat in front of the TV, munched my breakfast and slurped the much-needed black nectar in the form of a strong espresso. What a surreal still-life this was. Especially considering how many episodes we have watched from one of the currently watched series. As my system started to absorb the caffeine, switching my wee brain into the first gear, the haze dissipated over today's schedule. Harnessing this ephemeral clear state, I rushed into...

After getting up with the chickens and having a delicious breakfast, I took Abby for her morning walk. We met one of her and my friends, Hanga, the 65kgs Great Dane. I’ve known her for four years and had a special relationship with this towering dog. Each time we meet, she greets me with a broad smile, which is basically an uncontrollable tail-wagging, and I welcome this gentle giant with a hug. The feeling seems mutual. Even though Abby, our 10kg Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, looks so tiny next to Hanga, who treats Abby with the same tenderness, she enjoys her company tremendously. It is hilarious how quickly her confidence level elevates when Hanga is around.  Once our walk ended and we parted ways, Abby and I turned back and headed for home. While we were ambling back, this nagging question flashed on my inner screen: What made our four-legged friends forge such a strong bond with us?   Isn’t this just the right question we need to find an answer to? I’m perfectly awa...

Meteorologists have recorded unprecedented warmth in Austria during the first two weeks of this February since weather records began. Temperatures have exceeded the average by nearly 7 degrees Celsius around this time of the year. Even we've had days resembling the climate of late April. According to scientists, the La Niña, which replaces the El Niño phenomenon, will cause arid weather all over Europe, which is devastating news. Spain already suffers from the disappearing rivers. Suppose the predictions are accurate, and there is no rain but soaring temperatures. In that case, their already tough predicament will turn for the worse. As for our country, due to the wet and warm weather we've experienced lately, biologists expect one of the worst mozzie larvae infestations in March over here. They have to start mozzie control earlier than anticipated. Who has questions and doubts about climate change? I'd like to have a word with them. Even though we enjoy this mild climate i...

Today is Ash Wednesday and Valentine's Day simultaneously. Christians are reminded of their fleeting existence by the words 'Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.' While people, mostly in the Western Hemisphere, celebrate St. Valentine's Day, honouring a martyr named Valentine, it's also a celebration of romance. Both of these feasts are beautiful in their own way. Even for those who do not follow Christianity, Ash Wednesday's compelling nature ensures we don't forget how volatile and transient our existence is. Some might find this combination controversial; however, the 46 days before Easter provide ample opportunity to reflect on its meaning. I find Valentine's Day romance rather ambiguous. Why do we need to be reminded of loving each other? What about the rest of the year? Can we remain cruel just because we will make up for it on Valentine's Day? The same applies to Ash Wednesday: are we truly so oblivious to our mortality th...

The real-life conversation I had with ChatGPT astonished me. I was aware of this option being available on mobile phones and tablets; however, receiving such great responses in intonation, prosody, and accuracy completely amazed me. I had underestimated the app’s ability to generate lifelike sounds, but when I heard it respond like a human being for the first time, my jaw dropped to the floor. I immediately recognised its potential and made several attempts to engage in meaningful conversations with AI. I still need to figure out how to craft prompts that facilitate dialogue-like interactions and help me improve my spoken English. These prompts should also ensure that AI can analyse, correct, help me improve, and provide valuable feedback. It’s an incredibly and mind-bogglingly terrifying yet totally fantastic tool.

Adapting to a new sleeping routine seems to become natural. Surprisingly, it didn't faze us when we found ourselves wide awake at 5:00 a.m. after going to bed at 1:00 a.m. on the same day. Although our minds acknowledged it with a resigned shrug, our systems rang the alarm bell. It's time for a change; we need to get more sleep. Let's wait and see what tonight has in store. We hope that as the weather changes - and returns to its ordinary course - so will our sleep. Last week's unexpectedly warm weather, reminiscent of late April, significantly impacted everyone's energy levels. The ambiguous experience of spring fatigue in February was rather unforeseen. Even though we relished the long walks while the sun shone and heated the air, the subsequent tiredness ensured a melancholy that permeated our bodies and souls. Exhausted from the winter, our systems have struggled to cope with the early spring challenges without any portent or caveat. But, as the French say, ...

It's been an exciting week. The weather went bonkers on Monday, and the gale-force wind brought early late-spring side effects that caused havoc in our sleeping routines. Not a single night has passed since without tossing and turning, and it has devastated our daily performances. By Saturday, our exhaustion level got so high that our usual afternoon slumber became a comatose faint.  Nevertheless, the week did also surprise us. I returned to prompt writing, found the mojo, and crafted useful lessons for my students. We also took long strolls in the beautiful weather and experienced unusually warm temperatures in early February, and the combination of these walks and fresh oxygen-filled air led me to let my mind wander over the past three decades. Reminiscing about the memories made me really sentimental. Pondering about the meaning of life and what a meaningful life consists of was just the pinnacle of this journey in the realm of my subconscious mind. But it's a journey well w...

Waking up early has become par for the course lately, so it came as no surprise when I found my eyelids wide open at 4:00 a.m. this morning. Stating the obvious would have been futile, so I kept calm and compelled myself into a silent slumber. Even the alarm couldn't shatter this calmness, although I was on the verge of falling into a coma-like state. However, I found myself awake and alert as soon as the first fragment of the thought of breakfast and coffee emerged on my inner cinema's canvas and slowly penetrated into my grey matter's cognition centre. After dashing into the kitchen and preparing the nosh, I ate like a king. The usual pancake, made with homemade coconut milk, ensured the smile, crowned by the much-needed steaming black nectar, manifested in a strong espresso. I was on cloud nine and as happy as a sand-boy. As the absorbing caffeine started the booting sequence in my cerebral cortex, replacing the standby mode, so did my grey matter clear up the nebulous h...

Considering the early awakenings lately, it was no surprise that my eyelids sprung up like overwound-up spirals in an antique clock. Surprisingly, I wasn't sleepy or tired, so I rushed to the kitchen and prepared my usual mouthwatering pancakes. I ate like a king. After devouring the nosh, I grabbed Abby's leash and took her for an early morning walk in the hope of not meeting any similar geezers with their woozy canines on the empty streets. Speaking of empty streets, there still were remnants of last week's gale as the wind knocked over some bins carrying their contents far away, littering our city. It's a pity. Where are the road sweepers in times of need? Where was I? Oh, yeah, alone with Abby on the streets. So, as we were ambling about, out of sheer fluke, we didn't bump into anyone; Abby got slower and slower. I thought she had some issues she couldn't talk about, but guess what? She was as hungry as a wolf and wanted to return home. When I stopped for a ...

Memories of the past three decades just came flooding back today. I still need to figure out what triggered this overwhelming flow of past events, as nothing out of the ordinary happened apart from my usual routine. However, these recollections of bygone years underpinned my notion of our lives being nothing but a flash in the grand scheme of the unfathomably vast Universe, which dwarfs the importance of our existence on the astronomical scale.  Yet, amidst the cosmic insignificance, the quality of these experiences and connections with others holds paramount importance. True happiness lies in the bonds we forge with those we love and cherish, transcending the mere passage of time. No greater happiness befalls those who unite and become one in matrimony, which gives me solace. However, this is the sole reason I dread the inevitable day when death shall part us.

From now on, I’ll take everything meteorologists predict with a pinch of salt. Contrary to the latest forecast, the previous night wasn’t freezing. When I checked the temperature in the middle of the night - needless to say I was up again - the mercury on the thermometer read +11°C. I first blamed the app on my mobile phone for not refreshing the data, but it turned out eventually that it wasn’t its fault. The outside temperature was high and remained only a few degrees higher during the day. I was quite pleased with this early late spring weather and thought Abby would like it, too, during our afternoon stroll. How is the phrase? It is human to err, isn’t it? So, despite the sunshine and the pleasant, warm air, Abby got stubborn and wouldn’t move as we reached the first hundred metres. I could see her paws stuck to the pavement, preventing her from walking longer. I spared her from this ordeal and took her home at once. I was a tad disappointed, though. But as the French say, c’est la...

Adjusting to this new sleep routine could be the ticket to acceptance. Despite its initial challenges, I must grow accustomed to the restless nights rather than expecting to drift off effortlessly like a walrus with a belly full of fish. The mystery of how I could blackout in a split second when battling COVID-19 remains bewildering. Yet, dwelling on the recent nights’ trials serves little purpose when more pressing matters demand attention. What’s the use of moaning about sleepless nights anyway? Will it erase them from my already wonky memory? Not likely. Instead, I’ll focus on achieving my goals and bolstering my health. Talking of health, since the weather was so beautiful, we wanted to take Abby, our little four-legged rascal, for her afternoon walk. We thought we would kill two birds with one stone by taking her with us and enjoying the mellifluous weather in her company. We couldn’t have been more wrong. She made it clear how she felt about our plan as she trudged along with a h...

The wind roared ferociously through the night, rattling everything in its path. At 3:00 a.m., the intensity reached a point where I felt like I was on a freight train journey. After enduring another night of tossing and turning, waking up as the exact alter-ego of Karl Pilkington was a shocker. I was in a quandary. Was it a part of a nightmare, or was I truly transforming into an old, hysterical geezer? I hadn't expected this at all. While I enjoy watching his shows, particularly "Idiot Abroad", discovering his grumpiness within me was rather terrifying. Fortunately, the early morning breakfast brought a smile on my face, and by the end of the much-needed liquid black gold, the thick grey maze sojourning in my mind vanished into thin air. The rest of the day proved to be highly productive. I experimented with prompt writing again and could come up with some useful ones. Crafting three essays, completing my homework, and outlining my upcoming lessons, I was on cloud nine, ...

A cracking idea occurred to me as the alarm went off and shattered the silence at 6:00 a.m. this morning. Initially, I was ready to grumble about another night of tossing and turning when this plan surfaced from the depths of my brain, which, let's face it, is a rather gross exaggeration considering how limited my grey matter's capacity is. Even I was surprised by it: it seemed like a mirage at first. As my CPU started its booting sequence, the haze vanished into thin air, leaving behind a clean strategy. On a side note, capturing such moments in my life when an idea presents itself out of the blue in a split second with intricate details never fails to amaze me. The mind is a stupefying organic tool.  After devouring the usual pancake breakfast and sipping the much-needed caffeine, giving an extra jolt to my already revved-up engine, I dashed to my humble little office in the basement to kick off my morning routine. Despite a pounding head urging me to put the plan into words,...

Considering that my previous nights were beyond belief, accommodating myself to a novel approach to resting might be the sole sane panacea. Restlessly tossing and turning from 3:00-5:00 a.m. as a new habit is the new norm for my wee system. A hooting owl I evolved into. Even my eyes were as wide and colossal as that of a terrified bird of the night. Turning my head 180° backwards is as easy as pie. Joking aside. Despite these nocturnal awake periods, my days are relatively and unexpectedly lively, bringing back the long-eluded mojo. Even though I'm full of beans, taking writing to another level and pivoting towards the CPE and native levels is equal to forcing my wee mind to start its engines and harness its full potential. It is hardly surprising that giving birth to my blog entries requires my grey matter to run like the Shinkansen. However, despite the quickness of a bullet train and my cerebral cortex's capacity, my writing speed significantly slowed. Crafting a sentence at...

After another sleepless night, it was hardly surprising that right after I fell asleep at 5:10 a.m., my mind projected a surreal movie onto the inner side of my eyelids. While I was revelling in the scenes, even though the plot was so confusing that after waking up, recalling the whole dream seemed like attempting to run a Marathon, the bewildering chapters congealed into a seamless tale. Nevertheless, the final scene almost broke my heart, in which my beloved dog, who died five years ago, appeared and tore open wounds that would never heal. His absence is still beyond my comprehension to this day. The void he left behind is the presence of his absence, which is rather a controversial notion. Even so, I would be much poorer without his memory and the fact that he gradually wagged himself into our life as its essential part shows how much we loved him and how much he loved us. I recall his presence every day to mitigate the pain his absence causes, and I would easily give away anything ...

Even though my sleep wasn't restful, when I nodded off at some point, I was dreaming about verdant fields and jubilant sojourns - a fleeting mirage. The early morning greyness, however, struck me with the force of an equine kick in the blink of an eye. The foggy view wasn't helpful either in lifting my already dismal spirit. After sipping the much-needed cup of coffee, my mind began its reboot process, and as soon as my system absorbed the last drop of caffeine and fuelled my wilted body, my engine was in full swing to commence the day: I could finally execute my morning routine. My mind was like a race car on a speed-limitless German highway. Carefully planning and completing my classes resembled as easy as pie. Eventually, as the evening drew to a close, my brain pulled the handbrake and gently guided me into more manageable tasks. Overall, this day was a fruitful adventure in the realms of mood and spirit, and I'm looking forward to what the upcoming days will bring.